Have you ever noticed that life goes spiraling? Or like an eternal two-hilled camel: there are amazing moments and not so. For me it has always been like this. Spiral, but every time on a higher level. And always after a huge fail or after a very difficult situation, when I have reached the deepest bottom possible, wonderful things start to happen.
For example, when I was elected a class president for the last two years in university. First months were so stressful, I was always tired, I lost the weight I didn’t have… But when I have built the reputation, everything improved and I actually started to work less and have time for myself.
Next such jump was the first year in Barcelona. After few months here, when saved money have finished and I wasn’t paid for my work yet, when I was step ahead to live on the street, when I didn’t know what I am going to do (all these at the same time), again, I was stressed, always tired, looking like a skeleton… But then I found additional source of income, I found a little, dark and cheap room and I was able to buy some food. It was the longest difficult period in my life.
When I finally ordered things a little: I had a job, my own room, lovely friends, I gained muscle mass, everything was good. I would go to work, few times per week go to gym, sometimes some beers with friends, sometimes some movies – all good. But I started to realize it was boring for me.. I started to loose that light, that energy inside of me. And day by day I was converting into zombie: work-home-gym-sleep-repeat.
Now, it seems like I am in the same situation. I feel little lost. I know what to do and at the same time I don’t. I know what I want and at the same time I don’t. Again, I am not eating well. And this internal fight is energy-consuming. I want to end it as fast as possible…
And you know, in situation like this you have to make a change, you have to start acting slightly different. unless you’re a masochist. I am not, so last time I took the opportunity to make a change (thank you, Julia). Being able to meet all these fantastic people was amazing. I wrote an article about the power of environment and it was written based on my own experience, when I fully realized how important it is.
This time I will create this opportunity by myself. This time I will be the change.
The most incredible part is that after black ribbon there is always a white one. How long and how wide this ribbon is – totally depends on me. And one thing I know for sure – I want my white ribbon be as long as possible while the black absolutely opposite – as short and as thin as possible.
Photo by Ludde Lorentz on Unsplash